Death can happen anywhere

So, I watched someone die in the middle of our street last night. No one special, just a father, a husband, trying to make a living. He and his son had a small lawn cutting business, and they were cutting the grass at one of our neighbor’s houses. I saw them out there earlier. I was doing my yard work too.

This was the full works day for me, cutting, edging, trimming, and cleanup. I even did the angle cut to make it look nicer. It didn’t take long before I had that Mickey Mouse sweat stain going on the front of my sleeveless t-shirt. It was another hot and humid day in Goose Creek, and I was trying to get my yard work done early. I figured I’d be done before noon.

I was surprised to see someone cutting the grass at Johnny’s place. I thought maybe they were on vacation, and hoped that nothing was wrong with Johnny. When I saw the two guys working out in the yard, I couldn’t believe they had long pants on. It was definitely not the type of work to be doing in long pants. The Mexican guys that take care of the subdivision are always wearing long pants, but I figured they were used to it. I think Mexicans can handle heat better, part of their heredity or something. I’m half Mexican, and I love the heat. But they’re also half my age. When I was wrestling in high school, I not only wore long pants, I wore plastic sweats to work out every bit of water weight that I could. In the end, that was probably not the healthiest thing to do, but a lot of us did it to be able to wrestle in the lowest weight class possible.

Now, when I’m out in the yard, I wear the least amount that I can, and I drink as much water as possible. I’ve learned in my old age, that it’s important to stay hydrated, especially when you are active and living in a warm climate.

When I was out front edging, the guy and his son were driving by and he pulled over to talk to me. He said, “let me give you some advice.”

I said “what’s that?”

He said, “don’t let what happened to me, happen to you. I just passed out by the bushes. I was working, when all of the sudden I started seeing rainbow lights and my heart started racing, and I passed out.”

“Wow, are you okay? You need to stay hydrated and drink a lot of water. That’s why I’m out here early. I couldn’t believe that you two were out there in long pants. It’s too hot for that.”

“I just wanted to maintain a professional appearance. When I come back, I’ll put shorts on.”

“Are you okay?”

He said he was going home to cool off, and he’d come back later to finish. I told him thanks for the advice, and went back to my work (after chugging some more water). I felt fine, and figured that the guy had just gotten overheated. I saw the grass on Johnny’s sidewalk, and figured that they just had to come back and finish the clean up.

Later, as the wife and I were having dinner, I thought I could hear them working in the yard again. I guess he waited until the sun started going down, to come back and finish.

When we were cleaning up the kitchen, we heard the woop-woop siren of a fire truck coming down our street.  Immediately I said “I hope that guy didn’t have a heart attack!” But he had.

He was lying in the street, next to his truck. One of the firemen was doing CPR. They had cut up one of the guy’s pant legs, and his shirt was open. His skin was pale, and I could see his belly jiggling as the fireman was urgently driving his palms in and out on the man’s chest. The man’s son couldn’t watch. I think he was in shock, and just didn’t know what to do. I said let’s pray for your dad, and quietly prayed with the young man that the Lord would be over the situation and put his healing touch on this man’s father. I prayed that He would be with the family and help them right now.

The EMS people put the man on a stretcher, and moved him into the EMS truck. They would not let the son into the truck with his dad. It was apparent that the father had died, because no one was moving very fast. There were no sirens, and the truck wasn’t racing off anywhere.

It’s not every day that you watch someone die. This could have been my own dad, 40-some years ago. His second heart attack happened at someone’s wedding reception. That would have been a heck of a way to remember your wedding, having someone die on the dance floor. But I’m not sure where he died. My parents left to go to a wedding that night, but my dad never came home. I was 14. I heard this young man tell someone that he was 20. He didn’t seem that old to me. Now, he would have to grow up.

I couldn’t help but feel bad for the family. I also felt guilty, like I should have been smart enough to tell the guy to have a doctor check him out when I talked to him earlier in the day. He didn’t say that he was having chest pains or anything, so I figured he just overheated. Now that I’ve read a little bit about heat stroke on the internet, that could ultimately have been the cause of death.

I still think of what he said. “Don’t let what happened to me, happen to you.” When it comes to death, it just happens. I think it will surely happen to me someday, whether I let it or not.

Show me the money!

Rielle Hunter, the infamous mistress of John Edwards, wants her fair share of the profits from Andrew Young’s book, because he discussed the sex tapes as a media ploy to promote his book. That’s just another sad reflection of our society’s morals. I think it might be more appropriate if she pays her fair share of whatever divorce settlement results in the destroyed marriage of John and Elizabeth Edwards. That sounds as fair as her present legal action against Young, does it not?

No God in the US Constitution?

The recent news reports of the "One Nation, Indivisible" billboard that was defaced in Charlotte, NC, has drawn me into an online discussion/debate about the need for legislation to protect my beliefs. One person asserted that our Founding Fathers "were smart enough not to mention God anywhere in the U.S. Constitution." Part of my response is provided below.

Before the Constitution, we had the Declaration of Independence. In this document our founding fathers acknowledged God in the first two paragraphs of the document.


“WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.”

“WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.”

As for our Constitution, I see two references to God, albeit one is inferred.

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

Where did the blessings come from that they wanted to secure?

“...done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven...”

I believe that “Lord” is an acknowledgment by our founding fathers of the sovereignty of God.

I believe, whether or not someone else does, that God's hand is in all of this!

Moving Day(s)

Guess I’ve been out of touch here for a while. Last week I went up to Charlotte to help my youngest daughter move out of her apartment. She lived on the third floor and hadn’t moved very many things before I got there. Took us three days to get everything moved, and each day was 100-degrees. Thankfully, there was no rain. That really would have sucked.

She found a duplex in the Central District, which was pretty nice. She’s also moving in with another girl. I was lucky enough to be at the duplex when she arrived with a washer and dryer. I got to help a Vietnamese kid carry one of them down into the basement. We also carried in her couch that was about ten feet long. After three days, I was whipped. I also don’t sleep well with two cats creeping around all night. I slept great when I hit my own bed!

Now I’m back in the routine of searching and applying for jobs. Next week will be nine months of unemployment. Ouch!

Unemployment Check Fopah

Currently, payday is on Tuesday. That’s when my unemployment check arrives. Last week I received a big surprise in the mail. When I opened the perforated envelope, instead of a check, there was a note that read as follows:

“THE EMERGENCY UNEMPLOYMENT COMPENSATION PROGRAM, FROM WHICH YOU WERE RECEIVING BENEFITS, HAS ENDED. NO EMERGENCY UNEMPLOYMENT CAN BE PAID AFTER CLAIM WEEK ENDING JULY 6, 2009. YOUR BENEFIT ENDING DATE IS 10/10/10. A NEW CLAIM TO DETERMINE ELEGIBILITY FOR REGULAR UNEMPLOYMENT BENEFITS MAY BE FILED AFTER YOUR BENEFIT YEAR END DATE.”

What???!!!

I’ve read that three times, and I still don’t clearly understand what is says. I checked my balance on line, and there was still funding and a record of the check being issued for that week. When I called the unemployment office the next day to ask someone to explain it to me, they said that it was a mistake, and that checks were issued and sent out that morning. Whew! But who messed up? Was anyone held accountable for scarring the heck out of the dependent masses? Oops, just a typo, so sorry.

Bottom line...I need to find a job!

Pentagon spending too much on spare parts?

How much insurance is enough? How many canned goods should we keep stocked on our pantry shelves in the kitchen?

The majority of Americans pay for medical insurance, car insurance, house insurance, and life insurance, hoping they will never need to file a claim. But, in the event that something happens, we take comfort in the fact that we are protected.

Also, if we are fortunate enough, we keep our pantries well stocked with canned goods and dry foods to get us through times where we may be short on fresh food, or if bad weather keeps us stuck at home unable to go out to the local grocery store.

Similarly, the military must maintain an inventory of parts to support equipment throughout the world, in all climates and in all operating conditions. So, when I read the headlines from Reuters that say that the billions of dollars spent by the Pentagon each year is a waste of taxpayer’s money, I get angry that unsuspecting readers will be so easily mislead by reporting that does not offer the complete story.

While there are many methods and formulas for forecasting spare parts requirements for military equipment, “provisioning,” as it’s called, is not an exact science. For example, a particular formula for supporting 100 tanks may call for 20 engines to be kept in the inventory to support repairs that are projected based on the engine’s predicted reliability, the length of time it would take to restock the item, and also what is commonly referred to as “the fudge factor.”

It would be fairly easy to stock parts that would definitely be consumed in a short amount of time, and this would be relatively inexpensive to the “taxpayers.” But when those parts are consumed, we will have equipment that is not operational. That means we have an even more expensive piece of gear that is useless because we didn’t want to spend our precious dollars on “unnecessary” parts. Equipment that sits on the tarmac, the runway, or at the dock, means that we paid for equipment that is no longer protecting our troops or defending our country.

I read that the proposed defense budget for 2010 is about $664 billion. If the spares portion of that is $7 billion, as reported by Reuters, then that means the Pentagon is spending about 1% of its budget on spare parts. To me, that is a pretty low percentage. That would equate to an expense of $300 to repair a $30,000 automobile if a part needed to be replaced. Need I say more?

This is by no means a perfect system, and I believe that the Government personnel reviewing the supply lists that are submitted by equipment manufacturers should do a better job of analyzing what the parts are for, and why they are being recommended as spares. Both the defense contractors and the Government need to be a little more thorough in spare parts recommendations, and offer legitimate justification for each line item on the list proposed for purchase.

It must also be understood, that there are certain parts and quantities that should be kept on hand as insurance items. We don’t want “deadlined” equipment just because we didn’t have a 50-cent bolt on hand that will take a month to order and ship to some remote war zone.

We may not always like it, but it is better for us all to have a little insurance if the time comes when we really need it.

I Voted Today!

I exercised my American right to vote today. I even did it without flipping a single coin. Here in South Carolina there have been some dirty tactics in the gubernatorial race. We have a female candidate, Nikki Haley, running on the Republican ticket. She was endorsed by Sarah Palin. About a month ago, some political blogger had made a claim that he had an inappropriate encounter with Haley. Then, about a week ago, another guy who had worked for a different candidate in the race made a claim that he had a one night stand with her. On top of all that, Jake Knotts, a SC State senator, called her, and president Obama, a “rag head.” I can’t believe he still has his job. I wonder why people think of this as a “redneck” state?

I feel sorry for Nikki Haley and her family, and truly hope that the allegations are proven false. But certainly her character has been tarnished even more than having that endorsement from Sarah Palin (okay, cheap shot on my part, sorry). I’m probably being unfair to Mrs. Palin. Tina Fey has done such an excellent job of lampooning Sarah that I sometimes get reality and TV comedy confused, especially since the media uses both video clips in their newscasts.

In the end, I voted as well as my independent God-fearing, conservative, pro-lifer, Fair Tax advocating, card-carrying Republican conscience would allow. Tonight, I will say my prayers and sleep peacefully. After all, God is in control.

To be, or not to be?

I attended a local writer's meetup group the other day, and I actually had fun. At first I thought I was going to get that old 'I hate English class' feeling, but it ended up being quite envigorating.

Our moderator gave us a writing assingment to get the juices flowing. The challenge was to take the concept of "boring" and put it into words. I started out trying to write in script, but it's probably been 40 years since I actually did that. So, I reverted to printing, which I do faster and is somewhat more legible than my handwriting. Guess I've never gotten over that L (Low) I received in 2nd grade. I think I discussed that in my blog about being left handed.

I hope to attend more of the writing group meetings, but my time on the beach or kayaking is still a slightly higher priority for me. These are things that Carol and I do together. Maybe after we are both retired and she gets sick of me 24/7, I can make more of these weekend meetings.

The response and encouragement from the others at the meeting did make me think that I could possibly have some creative stories buried inside of me that would provide an interesting read for others. We shall see.

Kayak for sale

There was an ad in the Sunday paper offering a kayak for sale. It read: “KAYAK, TWO MAN, Plastic composite, manuf: Prijon, model: Odyssee. Sea going Kayak with rutter. Call ---- at -----. Ask $995”

I told my wife that I wanted to call the person, and advise them on the spelling error. I imagine the call would go something like this:

“Hello, I’m calling about the kayak that is listed in the paper.”

“Yes?” they respond enthusiastically.

“Well, I wanted to let you know that rudder is spelled r-u-d-d-e-r, not r-u-t-t-e-r. I’m not really interested in the kayak, but I’m an editor and I thought I’d let you know that you had a misspelling in your ad. Oh, and my wife says that you should change the description to say TANDEM rather than TWO MAN, because there are women who also like to paddle. Hope you don’t mind our inputs.”

“Screw you!”

[CLICK]

Anyway, the thought of doing it gave us both a laugh, but I'm sure that someone would take offense at my constructive criticism.

It seems to be an older boat that has been replaced by the Excursion model, which is over 81 lbs. This is one of the drawbacks to having a tandem boat, bigger is heavier, especially in plastic. But, if you’re looking for a used boat, check out the ad for yourself.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Congress has repealed the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy which will allow for openly gay men and women to serve in the military. This is another two-edged sword issue that will have positive and negative effects on people serving and those desiring to serve.


I’ve read that this will impact the female population of the military more than the males. That would fit the stereotype for women who want to prove their masculinity and/or their capacity to do tasks as well as, or better than, their male counterparts. It also fits the stereotype for effeminate males who might be too reserved to take on the challenge of completing boot camp requirements necessary to serve in any military branch.

One of the positive impacts for the military that hasn’t been mentioned (that I’m aware of), is closing the loop-hole used by personnel who claimed “homosexuality” as a means to get out of the military, or certain duty assignments. When I served in the Navy almost 30 years ago, this alternative was openly discussed among us enlisted personnel, and was used successfully by a few guys that I’m aware of. I wonder if there is any way to check statistics on how many males who received a general discharge from the service because they claimed to be gay, later went on to marry females?

With the change in policy voted on last night, the military might find that there are suddenly a lot less males who claim to be homosexual. And, I suspect, that the ones who truly are gay will continue to serve under the guise of being a masculine heterosexual. But what do I know?

The Party's Over

The birthday weekend has come and gone. It was nice to see everyone, especially my brother. Of course, our time together was way too short. I’m just glad that mom got to see Rob for a change, and to meet his girlfriend, Bryn. Her and I are on opposite ends of the political spectrum, but she seemed like a nice girl with a head on her shoulders.


For mom’s birthday dinner, my brother treated the gang, all nine of us, to a wonderful dinner at McCrady’s in Charleston. On my current salary, I would struggle to buy us all frozen dinners. Thankfully, we are blessed. Our funds are sufficient for the time being, and God will open a new door for me when the time is right.

We also spent some time at Isle of Palms, and had lunch at Coconut Joe’s. I was going to pick up the tab, but somehow my brother had taken care of it before I realized it. Very kind of him, and Carol and I did appreciate his generosity. I hope they come back again soon. There’s a lot of nice restaurants in the area that I can let him take us to (kidding).

The celebration also included some cheer at the house. No drinking and driving allowed. After everyone went home, I had a couple baskets of empties to take to recycling. I know that there is a poem, or country western song, in that image somewhere. “Darling you are gone, and all I have left are empty bottles to remind me why I can’t remember when you were here.” That’s why none of my songs have been recorded!

Now everyone is back home safe and sound. It’s just me and the dog again, lying around the house. In fact, it’s time for his evening walk.

Mom Turns 80!!!

My mother celebrates her 80th birthday today. She is still spry, and looks much younger than 80. She stays active and busy. This morning she told me that she had already been up and down the stairs a few times doing her laundry. She’ll be here to visit us next week, and if she sees anything in my house that needs attention, she will try and do it. If you blink, she might sneak off to the kitchen and wash dishes, or clean bathrooms, or iron clothes. She always wants to help...and to serve. She has a servant’s heart, and is blessed with the gifts of helping and hospitality. Over the course of my life, she opened her home to just about all of her eight siblings and spouses, to help them when they were down. She truly epitomizes the Mexican ideals of having a close-knit family. She is the oldest daughter of Fernando and Otilia Cruz. Having only one older brother, Joe, she has been the big sister to six other girls and one boy. She was probably a great help to my grandma, because she loves to cook and clean. We used to joke about the extremes of her housekeeping. She would vacuum the house every day, and the front room was definitely off limits, except when we might have company. I suppose I should be thankful that we never went to the extreme of having plastic runners throughout the house. Maybe that was just an Italian thing (only going by a couple of examples from my childhood). She also ironed everything. Nothing more comforting that having underwear with no wrinkles, or socks with creases to match your pants. She claims that she doesn’t iron socks, but I know she did.


She recently lost her younger sister, Fina, and that has been hard for her. Thanks to Bell (or Marconi), mom would talk to Fina every day. There is a big hole now, where that time was taken up daily with general chit chat and gossip. Our oldest daughter has a similar routine with my wife. I only talk to my mom once a week, usually on Sunday after church. I’m a guy, so there isn’t enough to talk about to make it a daily ritual. My mom’s older brother died a while back, and he probably talked to his mom weekly as well.

We are excited to see my mom next week. Our girls will be here, and even my brother is flying into town with his girlfriend. He is taking us all out to McCrady’s for a belated birthday dinner. The chef at McCrady’s just received the James Beard Foundation Award for “Best Chef in the Southeast.” I’m sure it will be yummy!

I’ve also been learning Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young” on my guitar, to play as a birthday song. That will be a little outside my comfort zone, but I’m sure she’ll appreciate it. All those years that her and dad paid for my lessons is finally paying off. Thanks for everything mom.

So, happy birthday and see you soon!

TV Addiction

Not doing very well in keeping up with my random notes. Somehow, there is always something else to do. This writing activity has not been elevated above those other activities such as “must find a job” or “must get house ready to sell” efforts. Sadly, it also falls below the “must sit on couch and watch TV” force that is part of my end of day routine. Hello, my name is Randy, and I’m a TV-holic. What else is there to do when the sun goes down? I used to use the excuse that it was my way of winding down after a hard day at the office. I’m not working right now, so I can’t say that anymore. No need for escapism through mindless entertainment. But now I am escaping the fact that I’m unemployed. TV does dull the brain so that those real life issues are temporarily forgotten. Sure sounds like a drug to me. “Take one TV show every hour, and call me in the morning.” Don’t forget to read the warning label: “CAUTION: May cause drowsiness. Do not take when operating machinery. Do not consume more than four shows a day. Prolonged consumption may be addicting. Some side effects include shortness of breath, blurred vision, memory loss and obesity.”


We’ve become programmed to watch programs. There is always something to watch. I remember having only three or four channels growing up. In those days, Hollywood was conservative and the bad guys always lost. Now, Hollywood tries to define reality in America, and exposes our children to way more than what their minds are ready to digest. Biologically, we drink milk until we are ready for solid foods. Physically, we learn to avoid what is dangerous or harmful, what is sharp or hot. Early on, we learn what “No” means from parents trying to protect us from ourselves. Mentally, we also grow at a steady pace. We learn what is familiar and safe. We learn to laugh at funny things, and to be cautious of the unknown. We learn to fear the bad things. Then we watch TV and slowly become desensitized to life. We learn to laugh at other people’s pain. We learn that it is fun to be scared, because it is “only a movie.” Special effects are not real. That’s not “real” blood. It’s cool to be grossed out. Too often, our children get exposed to this type of “entertainment” before their minds can properly interpret what should be retained or rejected.

How sad we are. TV has taken away our drive. Rather than challenge ourselves to improve, to learn, to experiment, to explore, we’ve succumbed to the seduction of cheap thrills on a TV screen. Like the apostle Paul, I am a chief sinner. If it’s Tuesday, it must be American Idol night.

I know that this doesn’t apply to everyone in America, but I suspect that the majority are like me, and even worse. In November, the Nielson ratings said that the average person in America watches almost 5 hours of TV a day. And I don’t think it’s my imagination that Sundays, when most professing Christians attend church, television programming offers the most violent and sexually geared shows to counter any good words offered from the pulpits. Why is it called “prime time”? We should be calling it “slime time.”

So what are you doing tonight? I “need” to see who gets voted off of Idol. Forgive me.

Boredom

A pastor once commented during his sermon that “sin is fun.” I can’t deny that some things which we take pleasure in might be considered sinful, but I don’t agree that sin is fun. I do admit that it seemed “fun” at times during my life to drink and party, to have sex, to buy bigger toys, to be concerned only with my wants and desires. Nobody wants to feel guilty about those things, and the only way to do that is to ignore (reject) God and the laws that He gave us for our own good. What the world, and Satan, would have us believe is that the opposite is also true - “being Holy is NOT fun.” Too many of us have that ingrained in our heads. This thinking also distorts our understanding of what it will be like in Heaven. I am reading Randy Alcorn’s book, “Heaven,” and it has helped me better understand what my eternal life might be like. I am excited, and so looking forward to that time. Until then, I need to rethink the idea of “fun,” and overcome the misconception that being Holy is NOT fun.


There may be a certain thrill in sinful acts, but the thrill does not last. There is also an associated guilt with those actions. You cannot avoid that feeling, because God has written His truth on your heart. You know right and wrong, regardless of whether you’ve read the Bible, memorized the Ten Commandments, or go to church. Don’t listen to the demons that tell you it’s okay, everybody does it, the world is right and there is no God. Don’t listen to the demons who tell you that it’s too late, you’ve already failed and you’re going to hell. Don’t listen to the demons that try and convince you that you’re too far gone, that God won’t forgive you, or that God doesn’t love you.

God does love you. He created you. He has given us a way, The Way, to eternal life with Him. Jesus has overcome the world, and He wants to see you and I survive this world so that we can experience a new heaven and new earth that is untarnished by sin and evil. I can’t wait to see that! If I had fun sledding down the simple hills of Dearborn, I will have a blast sledding down new mountains, knowing no fear. I will not get hurt in heaven. There will be no pain in heaven. What prevents us from having fun right now are exactly those fears, and more. We don’t want to get hurt, we don’t want to fall down, we don’t want to get bit, get lost, get hot, get cold, etc. etc. We have become so comfortable in this world, we have closed our eyes to a greater joy yet to come. I am afraid to have fun, because the devil would have me believe that I must be doing something wrong. It can’t be acceptable to God, because His rules don’t accommodate joy. How did I fall into this twisted notion? I have been pounded, and my faith has been weakened, but I will hold on. I believe. And, even with faith as small as a mustard seed, I will see heaven.

The lie that we need to recognize in the here and now, is that living a Holy life is not boring. If I go kayaking on a quiet river, I am having fun. I am not sinning. God has enabled me to have this moment of joy. He lets me glimpse a part of His creation that I may have never experienced without His grace. Through these moments, I can worship the God of creation and be in awe of all that His mighty hand has made. If I hug my wife, I have joy. I am not bored, and will not allow boredom to overcome my marriage. We share in fellowship, companionship, hardship, laughter and love. There is no sin in this. We may come under attack, but God brings us through the trials. It might not always be fun, but it certainly is not boring. I am a sinner, but I am saved. I still make mistakes, but I am forgiven. There may still be struggles ahead, even as I struggle today, but by God’s all sufficient grace I will endure.

It is a spiritual battle and a worldly battle that we must fight. If we ignore either one, we may fall into the trap. Peter writes in his gospel, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (I Peter 5:8). If we have come to accept that most fun can only be found in the way of the world, but in living a Christian life we will only find to boredom, then we have already fallen prey. I think boredom comes when we stop trying. Lord, when I fall, help me back up and help me to keep moving.

In heaven, I hope to fly, I hope to walk on the sun, I hope to explore the universe. In all those activities, I will be praising God because His presence will be evident in all that He has restored. He will take pleasure in the joy I will take in recognizing His gifts in a new heaven and new earth. I will work (yes we will) and have fun doing that because it will be doing what God made me to do. The newness of life in heaven will never wear out. This is difficult to grasp, because we are in a fallen state. Our attention span is short. What does it take to be stimulated? Even the longest lasting TV shows eventually die because of our boredom. We are tricked into believing that the happiness can be found in what we can touch and feel, but we have been blinded to what is beyond that. Faith. “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see,” Hebrews 11:1. If you don’t have it, ask God to give you that faith.

Someday I will party in heaven and enjoy a great feast. I hope to see you at the table too!

Unemployment Extension

Wow, almost a week of silence here. Not doing very good in my journaling. Doesn’t bode well if I am truly called to write. I have been distracted by everything. There is always something else to do. As I sit here typing, I see a lot of clutter on my computer table which I need to clean up. My house is for sale, and I need to keep every room presentable. The other day I cleaned the wood floors, but I still have to replace a board by the front door. My replacement front window arrived, and I still need to find someone to do the work. I would really like to have that done by someone who knows what they’re doing. I spend a large part of the day looking for jobs, writing cover letters, and applying on line. For six months, I wake up, put the cell phone in my pocket, and hope that I get that call offering me employment.

Yesterday, I was surprised by my unemployment check that was $200 less than usual. They don’t warn you when your initial period is up. I had to go down to the unemployment office and file for an extension. You wait in one line, and then another, trying to stay patient because the sign says bad behavior will not be tolerated (and an on-duty police officer with a gun is there to ensure that), and you look at all the others who are out of work, and pray that you find a job before you have to come back and do this again.


Afterwards, I stopped at a local health care/rehab center to fill out an application for a job posting that came through on one of my many on-line trackers. After filling out a book-length application, I found out that the position I was applying for had been filled two months earlier. I did feel a little foolish, but the time did allow me to question whether or not I could work in that type of environment. Am I losing my ability to be compassionate as I get older? If so, Lord change my heart and make it new.

White or What?

As you know, I am currently unemployed. I have gotten pretty good at filling out on line applications and writing cover letters. However, the racial questions always throw me. This is the typical multiple-choice list (copied directly from a company application):


- American Indian or Alaska Native (Not Hispanic or Latino)
- Hispanic or Latino
- Asian (Not Hispanic or Latino)
- Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander (Not Hispanic or Latino)
- Black or African American (Not Hispanic or Latino)
- White (Not Hispanic or Latino)
- Two or more races (Not Hispanic or Latino)

My father’s genealogy includes English, Irish, and Scottish lineage. My mother is 100% Mexican. So, I am half “white” and half “Hispanic.” Now, based on the descriptions above, which do I check? And why does it make the Hispanic or Latino appear in such a negative light? Four times, the word “Not” is associated with this heritage. To me, technically speaking, I can not check any of these categories. I am not 100% Hispanic, so I should not check that one.. I am White AND Hispanic, so I can’t check that one. And, I am two or more races, but one IS Hispanic, so I can’t check that one!

Or...do I fall into the category of "American Indian"? Does that cover all the Americas? Mexican is really a nationality rather than a race. Would the Incas and Aztecas fall under the "American Indian" heading? Since I am a Christian, my true roots should be traced to Noah. Therefore, I would be of Jewish descent. That would make me "White" by the racial definitions. Wait a minute. That would mean that we are all white!

So, no matter what country we are from, what color we are, or what language we speak, we should check the "White" category on these applications. What is a mutt to do?

4/16/10 - Friday

I think that I applied for half a dozen jobs today. It seems like such a waste of time. I’m not sure when the unemployment runs out? I’ve been out of work for six months now. I feel that this is an opportunity that I’m not taking full advantage of. I could take some classes, but that costs money. I still have a few things to work on around the house before we sell it. I’m just afraid that if or when it sells, I won’t know where to go. Carol has a job, so it would make sense to stay here. But, if I am offered a good position somewhere out of state, Carol wants to go with me. It was no fun working out of state in 2008 and leaving Carol behind. She missed her man! We are best friends, and have been together for 30 years now. We’ll celebrate our 29th wedding anniversary in August. Life is good, and I won’t complain. God has something in store, and when it’s time, the next door will open. Will it be door number one, door number two, or door number three? You probably need to be as old as me to understand that.

Next month is my mother’s birthday. She turns 80! We’re all getting together at our house. Even my brother and his girlfriend are coming. We haven’t seen him since Christmas 08. He never takes a day off from work. I was listening to some Dylan classics today while I was cutting the grass. I think it would be cool to learn “Forever Young” and play it for mom as a birthday song. Guess I should look for the guitar tabs on the internet while I’m thinking about it.

Tax Day!

Thankfully, my taxes were completed a while back, with help, and the returns are already in the bank. Hopefully the IRS won’t come after me this year. Last year they tried to disallow all my charitable deductions, and make me pay more than I had, plus penalties. I am so for the Fair Tax movement. I love the idea that all consumers, such as criminals and illegal’s, will pay taxes just like everyone else. I also love the millions or billions that would be saved by doing away with the total IRS bureaucracy. And lastly, I love the idea that those in power won’t be able to influence business with tax breaks or increases. The invisible hand rules!

Who Am I?

I have been out of work for six months. It has not been stressful, because I am blessed. God has provided all things, and God has provided for the drought. Carol and I have grain in the warehouse.


But I have struggled with my identity. As with many working adults, especially after 29 years in one profession, I identified with my work more than anything else. I am slowly coming to accept a lesson that God is teaching me through this, that I am not defined by my job, but rather by the person that He has helped me grow to become. It is the journey with God that brings maturity, wisdom, and knowledge. The Biblical heroes had many job titles: slave, shepherd, judge, tentmaker, fisherman, but it was their faith journeys that established the character of who they were.

I am not what earns me money, I am what earns me eternity. I thank my God for that, and I thank my God for being with me in whatever tomorrow brings.

Cruz Grandpa

My mother is Mexican, but I am a white boy. My mother didn’t grow up in a barrio-type neighborhood. My mother’s dad worked his way out of that. There is probably a story there that will never be known. I never learned Spanish, other than the classes I took in high school. It was the language that my mother and her sisters could speak, without us children knowing what they were talking about. I think that during that part of American history, people were glad to be part of the melting pot that made them Americans, and the language of the land was English.


Cruz Grandpa was born in 1899. I think he and my grandma worked their way out of Mexico, up through Texas and the southern states picking crops. They made their way to Michigan and purchased two lots of land in Taylor, and his brother-in-law bought two lots next to him. They built their own houses, including garages, chicken coups and even outhouses. I vaguely remember there still being an outhouse at my grandma’s when I was very young. I do remember the sink in my grandma’s kitchen having an old-style hand pump to pump water from the ground. They also had a hand pump in the yard for watering the garden, and probably the animals. I think the animals were gone, or maybe a couple of chickens were left when I was little. Yes, they definitely had chickens because I do remember my grandma collecting some eggs in her apron to make breakfast. I was grossed out when some of the eggs were already starting to develop chicks. My mom also tells stories about the outhouse. Her baby sister, Fina, would catch stray cats and throw them in. Fina always did have a way with animals.

My grandfather built a large house, but even at three stories, the nine children had to share rooms and beds. Grandma and Grandpa’s bedroom was on the first floor. The children slept on the second floor. I remember four rooms. You had to go through one room to get to the smallest bedroom. There were no doors. Curtains were hung in the doorways to divide the rooms. You could also walk out on the roof through the largest bedroom at the front of the upstairs. It wasn’t a balcony, just a flat roof over an enclosed area that was like a sun room. Grandma would have plants growing all over the house, but the sun room was packed with them. She definitely had a green thumb, and loved working out in the yard.

The third floor was never finished. It was used as attic space. When I would visit, I would love to explore the attic. It contained a history of their lives, with clothes and antique treasures that I loved to discover.

The house was heated by a potbelly stove in the living room. The smell of fire still reminds me of nights that I stayed at grandma and grandpa’s house. There was also a wood stove in the kitchen. It seemed that there was always an iron frying pan on the stove, and my grandpa would be cooking corn kernels, or peanuts. I used to love the peanuts hot off the stove. I think that they were fresh from his garden.

Grandpa Cruz was an educated man. He could read and write, and speak English and Spanish. I believe that he worked hard to pull his family out of poverty, and bring them to a place where they could experience the opportunities that America had to offer. He was a builder and a farmer (and with nine kids, I guess a lover too). He worked hard for survival. I don’t think that life was very easy in those days, even for the whites. I can only imagine the difficulties for Mexicans living on their own. My mother remembers Christmas as a child, when the Shiners’ would come and bring the children shoes and a toy. Eventually, Cruz Grandpa landed a job with the railroad.

Grandpa worked hard, and he also played hard. He was a musician, playing guitar, mandolin, and fiddle. His friends would come around on weekends to play music and drink beer. Beer drinking may definitely be a hereditary thing in our family. It has been one of my vices for many years. After a long night of music and drinking, my grandma would have to help grandpa into bed. His brother-in-law later died in a car accident from drinking and driving.

Somewhere, one of my aunts has an old tape recording of my Grandfather playing his guitar. He tried to teach me the mandolin, and I learned to play a song. I remember the tune, but I don’t know the name of it. Since I showed interest and talent, my parents started me in guitar lessons at the age of seven.

When I was still pretty young, my grandfather had a stroke. It was pretty bad, and he lost his ability to understand and speak English. He wasn’t the same anymore. Cruz Grandpa died in 1970.